I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
