what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
