Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
