i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
