Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
