It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
