okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
