I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
