would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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