Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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