I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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