I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
