do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
