The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
