i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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