Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
