I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
