My hand turned me down
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
