There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
