What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
