Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
