things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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