i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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