so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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