let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
