I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
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