What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
