Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
