Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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