Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
