Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When did angry sex become our thing?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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