I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
