Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
farters have to be the big spoon...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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