what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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