false alarm. still invincible.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
