Screwed.edu
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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