Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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