i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
