I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
