highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
