Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
