I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
