I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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