oh god the rape fog is back!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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