There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
MIDGETS
????
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
