i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
