well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
