There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
