I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
