LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
