We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
