i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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