I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
