I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
